Couples & their sex life

The NEW Paper

Her body tensed up when hubby wanted sex
Married woman was virgin for 10 years due to sexual condition
By Benson Ang
May 03, 2010

She could not have sex with her husband of 10 years because whenever they tried, her body would tense up.

Melissa (not her real name), 35, suffered from an unusual sexual condition called vaginismus, in which the muscles around the vagina involuntarily tighten, making intercourse painful or impossible.

The Ministry of Health does not track the number of vaginismus cases here, but Professor P. Ganesan Adaikan, clinical sexologist from the National University Hospital, and Dr B. Srilatha, a research fellow at National University of Singapore who specialises in obstetrics and gynaecology, told The New Paper that they see 20 to 30 such cases a year.

The condition has also been documented by Dr V.Atputharajah, an obstetrician and gynaecologist from Mount Alvernia Hospital, who wrote about it in his book Virgin Wives: Women With Unconsummated Marriages.

Melissa solved her problem after meeting with Dr Martha Lee, a clinical sexologist, who proposed a series of treatments, including breathing techniques to make Melissa feel more comfortable with her body.

In less than two weeks, before the third session with Dr Lee, she succeeded in having sex with her husband.

Dr Lee added that the cause of vaginismus is usually psychological. Other doctors we spoke to said this condition can also be treated through education, exercise and surgery.

It seems that such cases are not rare...I heard from a friend that she had a friend who had to go to a doctor just to learn how to have sex. They spent around 10 K on the sessions with the doctor. After the sessions with the doctor, the husband and wife are able to have sex together with no problem.

I guess since our life style had changes drastically...and on top having to keep up with the fast speed society that we have... a lot of young couples might face such difficulty...we should be open to seek help from doctors or even look up on the internet on how to deal with such matters.